Dear Chester

Chester+Bennington+2007+Projekt+Revolution+EsDFKpXLMkjl

Today I’ve been triggered. It has been two weeks now and I still can stop the pain I feel because of you. You had betrayed me, Chester! I’m so sorry, I’m so so sad, and I’m so so mad that you lost your battle. But you didn’t have to go out like that, dude. Fuck.

I cannot take this anymore
Saying everything I’ve said before
All these words: they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance

Damn, man. You had me at One Step Closer, been a fan since 2000. It’s been 17 years already. You helped me going through the darkest days in my life so far. Now the 20th of July 2017 is the worst day of my fucking life. How can you now help me go through this, Chester?

The shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun has set for you

You know, once you were my Super Saiyan God. You can see me through my soul. You make me realize what I am, what it is deep in my heart. Nobody understand why I live like this. A fucking living nomaden, for godsake. I don’t do this because I’m so in love with this traveling thingy. Only you who can feel me in Somewhere I Belong.

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain ’til it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I need a place for my head, and you gave me. You cried out what is in my head in so many ways. Heroes come and go but legends never die. You are the legend, and you are my hero still. You’ve tried so hard and got so far. But in the end, it doesn’t really matter. Just leave out all the rest.

Do you remember when you say, you may end up failing too, but you know that I was just like you with someone disappointed in me? I’ve become so numb. Become so tired, so much more aware. I’m becoming this and all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you now. Right, Chester?

RIP. Rock in peace. I hope you finally found your peace and solitude and clarity within yourself and your mind. And I hope I can find mine too. Thank you, Chester. For everything.

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